I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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