Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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