Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
being pregnant is like rehab
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
