you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Drunk is not a location!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
