No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize