Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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