please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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