my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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