hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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