Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
