Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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