Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
