Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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