Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
