i want to swaddle you in tequila
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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