Ambien. No doubt about it.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize