Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
