are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
