I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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