He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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