WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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