what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
