she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
