So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
