ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
As shirtless as possible
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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