I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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