Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
