please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
