I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Randomize