Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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