i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
