You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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