I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
