We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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