I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
