he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
