Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
