you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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