Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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