I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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