So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize