she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
