you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
