ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
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