I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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