Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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