Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
