Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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