all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
