omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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