He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She's just so happy...and so naked.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
