so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I stole a fireplace last night.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
