It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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