I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
