Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
