Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
