Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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