i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
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