I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
