Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
