dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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