And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
