I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
